Hmmm watching secret millionaire made me figure out what I want to do with my life....more to come!

humility

Humility
• Pride and humility are issues of life and death

• When you learn humility you get more humble

• Pride is your greatest enemy humility is your greatest friend
-John stotts

James 4:1-10

James 4:6 God is opposed to the proud but gives grace to the humble

James 4:10 humble yourself in the sight of the Lord and He will lift you up.

Humility- honestly assessing ourselves in light of Gods perfection

Pride- assessing ourselves independently of God.

Pride will ruin your life. God hates pride. Proverbs 8:13 proverbs 6:16 pride and lying go together. Lying is right up there with murder. God hates lying. Were lying to hide our pride. But Jesus forgives us. Psalm 10:2 proverbs 16:18 Romans 1:28-32

It's a bad thin to think too much of yourself. Pride won't let you to think less of yourself.

We all struggle with pride and going our own way.

Pride is a danger but humility is a blessing

Hate pride run to humility

More thoughts

So I really do need to change someone because I end up hurting people when I do things. That is not what I want to do. Things can also not be explained via blog. But how many more times can I mess up before my friends get sick of me? Or get sick of me talking about my weight? I dont want that. I think I need to tame my tongue a bit. Maybe thats why I have sm because I dont want to say anything stupid to anyone. I dont think I will ever grow up. I thought I did but now it seems different. I tend to mess up everything and stress everyone out. If I have done that I am sorry and I understand if you want to give up on me. I dont know if I sound believable but I am really sorry and mean it from the bottom of my heart.

Thoughts

Today I have been thinking a lot about my weight loss. Ever since I hit losing 140 lbs I have yet to get back to it in fact I went up. For one I think I got scared about being that small. People told me I looked good and said I didn't need to lose anymore. I was enjoying eating on the weekends. I enjoy having the freedom to pick up food and eat it. I am struggling emotionally I have all this stuff going through my head. I think another thing was I met with a friend and they kept saying I was a drama queen and now I live by it. So many people are like your a drama queen and it is not just that one person it is a lot of people. So people call me it so I live it. I have been stressed I would say since August or so. School has been tough. I didn't think it would be this tough. I had an issue with a person I am ultimately happy how it turned out but still inside I am depressed. I think if no one likes me as this tiny girl who cares. I am not thinking about myself because I grew up with people making fun of me. It is all so confusing right now my life. Guess I have to figure it out or I will ballon right back to what I used to weigh.

Best Friends

So I haven't written a blog in awhile. School has been nuts but I have good grades...for now. Well my mom and I came for lunch today together and when we pull in my grandpas best friend is here Mr. Jesse. My grandpa has been a little sad lately because his lady friend hasn't wanted to go to lunch lately. But when we saw him he looked so happy. He doesn't see his best friend all the time. They have been through a lot together. The good time was when they were younger and their families would go on vacations together. Then as they got older their wives developed cancer and died one week a part from each other. These men are strong yet such best friends. Its cool to see old people act around each other especially when they are best friends. I see my bestie a lot and I sometimes mess up. Well I mess up a lot but I am so thankful to have such a great best friend. We have some weird conversations. We know a lot of people who get married and have kids and we always tend to talk about weddings and babies which we sometimes think we will never get our turn. I am so thankful for my friendship even though I can be a jerk sometimes. I know my friendship will stay like my grandpas but we will probably stay closer than my grandpa and his friend. Today showed me a lot on how I need to change and be a better friend.

:) Happy Friday...O wait I have tons of hw to do this weekend :(

Making decisions

In the last I would say about 6 months I have had to make some tough decisions. I love listening to Christian Podcasts lately they help me so much. I learned in one decision I made I did the right thing. I never knew if I did the right thing but listening to this Podcast I did. I prayed about it, I got some good counsel from Godly people. In the end it worked out and I am happy because before today I never knew if I did the right thing. I always thought what I did wasn't the right decision. :) God is pretty awesome!

How I feel right now.

Life is crazy now I have 2 weeks left in my first class in grad school towards my MBA. I have changed in the past month. My life has changed I feel funny inside like I have no passion to do anything. I pray about it and I want to feel better I don't want to feel like this anymore. I want to be my old self. I have grown up though I feel like a new person but at the same time I want things to go back the way they were in so many situations. I know I am growing no matter what and it feels good sometimes to go through something hard because it just makes me stronger.

Going to church today made me think about things a little different it felt good going to church. The sermon was on truth and love and I think there are areas where I can show love to more people. I have been told some pretty tough truths from people lately and I need to take that and act in a better manner. I hurt I literally hurt sometimes from things that have happened. I don't know what to do. I am really praying about it. I know Jesus is there for me and the song by Starfield Rediscover You is really how I feel and I keep listening to it and it gives me some hope. Its not exactly how I feel but kinda close. I am not burned out on religion. Just everything has changed and I feel like an idiot.

Here are the lyrics.

I need to just admit
my faith is paper thin
I'm feeling so burned out
On religion

I say an empty prayer
I sing a tired song
I need to just admit that the passion's gone

And I want to get it back

You told me
Look for You and I will find
So I'm here
Like I'm searching for the first time
Revive me, Jesus
Make this cold heart start to move
Help me rediscover You

I want to learn to pray
The way that David prayed
I want my soul to burn when I hear Your name
I want to feel like new
I want to hunger for you
Bring me back to life like only You can do
Cause I don't want to stay the same

You told me
Look for You and I will find
So I'm here
Like I'm searching for the first time
Revive me, Jesus
Make this cold heart start to move
Help me rediscover You

Lord, I want to be Yours today
I want to know the passion of the saints
And how they were changed

You told me
Look for You and I will find
So I'm here
Like I'm searching for the first time
Revive me, Jesus
Make this cold heart start to move

I want to burn for You
Bring me back to life, Jesus
Help me rediscover You