Finally home!!!

Usually I hate leaving but this Thanksgiving turned out to be a really sad one. I got in trouble for something I dont mean to do. I got dirty looks all weekend. Got told things that arent right. I just never have wanted to go home sooo bad.

My uncle and aunt arent happy anymore like they used to be. The kids arent even happy. I am going to be praying for them. We even went to their new church today and it was a different church. I cant explain it but the pastor said some things that were off from they way my family believes or how my church believes. I am sooo thankful for my church family and my pastor. He teaches the true gospel of Christ.

This weekend has been filled with emotion and I learned a lot.

Today wasn't such a good day.

Today was filled with lots of crying in the morning. My sister got cornered by my aunt because my pants dont exactly fit right and sometimes they need to be pulled up. I really dont mean to do it I am inbetween sizes and they dont always stay where they need to. But I dont do it on purpose. That basically ruined my whole day she has been giving me dirty looks all weekend and I cant stand it. I dont know what I did to her. She was never like this before I dont know what happened to her. She was mean to my grandma once and I have a feeling I am going to get treated like that. I always thought of her different and not like this. I always looked up to her and my uncle but now that I know they look at every little thing I do I cant anymore. My cousin already said a mean thing once to me last year. I am running on my last nerve but all I can do is pray for them.

My grandpa means soo much to me we were praying and holding hands the other night and was squeezing my hand tight and then the other day when I was hugging him bye he held on a little longer usually it is a quick hug. I feel so special in his arms my love for him is soooo great. But I was looking at him tonight and he is looking so old. Made me sad. He is such a great man of God!! I love hearing him pray and talk about the bible. My 7 year cousin just accepted Jesus into his heart and my grandpa gave him a big boys bible. My grandparents have always meant the world to me minus the one mean grandma.

I am calming down a lot it was hard this morning. It was hard to make myself happy after that I tried my hardest. Funny thing was my devotion last night was on anger. I didnt get angry I just got sad. Writing helps though and I have the best sister to fight for me and the bestest friends in the world to help me through it all!!

Day after Thanksgiving

Today was a very relaxing day around the house. We watched a couple of movies, played outside, ate, and just hung out. It is nice not to worry about anything and just play. I miss being a kid and being here reminds me of being a kid. We played hide and go seek outside and it was tons of fun!! I love kid games.

I am trying to scooter but I am not being that successful. Each day I get better and better but its hard. I was never able to really do sports before or too much physical activity but now that I can I love it. I cant wait to get to goal and be able to run really fast actually have my clothes fit me.

We will see what tomorrow has in store. This weekend is going by sooo fast and next week for school is going to be sooo busy.

Its soo weird not having tv. They have a tv and antenna but it doesnt work so well so all we watch is movies if anything. Its weird when I am bored I cant just turn on the tv. I usually just listen to my mp3 player. It is weird staying in a house that isnt yours but this house is sooo pretty could be bigger because my uncle designed it and built most of it himself.

Ok I am running out things to say time to go to bed and listen to music :)

Thanksgiving

Today was such a great day with a great family!! I had a blast with my cousins. We played baseball a lot today and I did good. We were also playing with scooters lets just say I go as slow as a snail because I dont want to fall. I am freeeeeezzzzinnngggg its its 40 something degrees and I am soooo cold. I even have socks on and if you know me I am not a sock person. I am not a show person I love sandals.

Thanksgiving isnt the same anymore I miss my grandma she was the matriarch of the family. She was the glue. Now without her its not the same. I feel like my thoughts about her and my memories are fading. My grandma never got to see my uncles finished house or anything. I miss her hugs a lot right now. But I still remember what it feels like. When I was cold she used to hold me and make me warm because she would wear flannel jackets and give me tons of blankets to stay warm. I have my grandpa but he plays a different role in my life. I look to him and see the guy I want to marry, someone who is soo Godly but sweet and isnt afraid to cry. My grandpa and I have a great relationship but hes not my grandma. Sometimes this is soo hard to get through the holidays with out her. I know somedays I talk about it a lot but she was my everything. It will never be the same way again.

One thing I truly love up here is it actually being dark there arent even street lights. God is sooo awesome. I was outside on the phone and I could see the stars. I saw the little dipper. Stars are awesome!! I wish I could go sit outside on a blanket and put on some music but I kinda cant because I would freeze to death.

If anyone knows me they know I talk A LOT!! But this verse stuck out to me in my devotional. Dont worry what you'll say. When the time comes , say whats on your heart. The holy spirit will make his witness through you. Mark 13:11 Lately I have been following what God is doing in my heart it is really hard. Sometimes I do admit to try to fight it but I give in with God. It is a situation my heart and I have been fighting with. I want something else somedays but I always end up chosing Gods way when I start to think what I want and what God wants.

Well I am going to relax before bed I am most likely waking up at 7 am again!!!!

I have arrived in JAX!!

I am in Jacksonville Florida actually I lied I am in middleburg but no one knows where that is. I should be asleep the cousins are going to want to get up at like 7 and play but I cant sleep. We had a good drive it took a really long time because of traffic and stuff. But when we got here it was 40 degrees. Funny thing is I wasnt that cold maybe its because I am wearing my sweats that I love.

I watched 3 movies in the car it was fun got me through the time. I tend to watch romantic comedies which got me thinking tonight about flowers(I was also sitting by flowers) I lvoe gerber daises or regular daises they are simple and pretty. Those are my favorites.

I am looking forward to time with the family. I love my family. We all have the same beliefs and all get along. There is no bad language going on its good clean fun and my family knows how to have fun. We can make fun out of anything. My dad brought all his funny jokes like the gorilla mask and other things. I cant believe my cousin is 14 now and 5'6 I am 5'4 wow that is gonna be nuts when I wake up and stand up net to her. She isnt my little baby cousin anymore she is all grown up in the 8th grade Its nuts. My other ones luckily are still shorter than me.

These four days should be fun and interesting. I should have time to write on here when I am bored at night. hmmm Idk if I should fall asleep to my music. Probably not.

im getting cold now. time for sleep!!! I love my air mattress its sooo comfy!!!!

Tuesday 10

1. Fun adventures my friends take me on
2. Even though I dont like my job too much right now I am happy to have a job during this tough economy.
3. My cat because she makes me smile even though shes mean.
4. My parents always taking my around the country and showing me the heart of the US even when we dont have much money.
5. My humor. Laughing gets me through the day :)
6. My 1988 oldsmobile. It is the same age as me how many people can say that?
7. That my best guy friend asked me to be in his wedding and there are only 4 bridesmaids and I dont know the bride it made me really happy that they thought of me.
8. Wade Thomas even though he never writes me he has done amazing things helping me with my weight loss
9. For my church family they mean the world to me and make me smile knowing they will always be there for be no matter what. I have brothers and sisters in Christ who love me!!
10. My new diffuser for my hair it makes my hair look good. :)

Remeber I cant repeat!!

Sundays are great

I love Sundays and coming on my blog and writing what I learn.

In Sunday School we talked about situations where you go back and think why is this happening, how did I ever get invovled in this, etc. Lately I have been thinking about that with a certain situation. Thinking why did God ever do that to me. But in the end it is His plan and what He wants. We are going through Esther now and in Esther they dont talk about prayer or anything they do mention fasting though. But God had a plan for Esther. He made her beautiful for a reason. So this little situation that I am uncertain about I know God is going to use it to show me stuff. He already has and I have learned many things from it. I understand why He put this situation in my life now and it has changed me forever!!!

Then I go into church and we are singing For The Beauty of The Earth and that song always reminds me of Little Women the old version when they all sing together. I love that movie and Christian Bale has changed so much from that movie.

The sermon was on Thanks. We need to give thanks no matter what. Even if problems get thrown our way. Thanking God is just the right thing to do. God knows when we are grateful and ungrateful. Pastor challenged us to say 10 things we are thankful for which I did last week. He took it from someone on facebook like I did. I am going to try to do it every week but I cant repeat. Its weird when I open something someone has given me I am soo thankful but it never shows on my face. I never know how to epress myself when I open a gift but I am sooo thankful. I dont like getting gifts I love giving gifts first!!!

Feel like writing

For once I am not tired and feel like writing my feelings. My weight went up this week and I am not happy at all but I know lately I have been making mistakes that have been affecting my weight. I have been on this diet which is now my life a long time and it is getting tiring doing the same thing but it is my life and I need to get back on track.

Its weird I tell my friends when my weight goes up o yea no biggie I am getting my haircut so my weight will go down but relly on the inside I hurt. I want my weight loss to be how when I started loosing 2 lbs a week. But it wont go back to that. Now it is moving slower which I need to start controlling better what I eat.

My friend did this talent show thing tonight and got totally ridiculed by the judges and I felt soo bad for her but then it made me think of my old days when I was bigger. Weighing my heaviest weight I had to go in front of church when I graduated for graduation sunday and I tripped up the steps because I was sooo big in front of my church family and that hurt a lot. When I was in highschool going through the hallways having boys being jerks and tapping me on the shoulder and saying see that guy over there he wants to go out with you. Totally getting made fun of by the way I looked. It never bothered my much when I was younger and now looking back it still doesnt because I know I had the best friends in the world who didnt care how I looked and stood up for me in school. I mean I had some bad moments like not fitting in the desks and trying to fit down aisles of desks and trying to get through people. Those days were sometimes hard and my mom didnt even know I was made fun of for being fat. Thats why I want to teach kids that no one should be made fun of and they need to be healthy. Those days are over and now I am healthy and getting healthier daily. Wow writing those feelings helped and gave me memories of those days but looking back as a lesson learned.

God is sooo awesome I read this bible verse tonight!!!!
The Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. —1 Samuel 16:7

Tuesday Ten

Someone at church started doing this thing called the Tuesday Ten about Thanking God for 10 things every Tuesday.

1. For my amazing family. They always make me laugh. Like tonight my mom was throwing out stuff and my dad is like dont forget Stephanie. They ALWAYS tell jokes.

2. My friends. I have had to drop some friends and I have a close group of core friends who are there for me and know how to help me when I need it.

3. The beautiful weather. Lately it has been such a pretty blue sky and I love it!!

4. The cold weather. It has been chilly even though I have lost weight and I absolutely freeze outside.

5. My book Pure. At first I picked it up thinking it was justa regular book and I got it home and find out its a 90 day devotional. I absolutely love it each night I cant wait to read it.

6. Writing letters because I get the opportunity because a friend of mine is out of country and writing letters help me. Let me tell someone what God is doing in my life and how I feel about stuff going on.

7. My hermit crab is still alive. Usually they die but this one has been alive since my bday!!!

8. The people who I met in my life at church who have moved away. I found these girls who my sis used to babysit on facebook and I miss them soo much our families used to have soo much fun!

9. The gym. Without the gym I wouldnt be where I am with my weight loss.

10. Weight Watchers without weight watchers I dont know where I would be right now.

those are my 10 that was hard.

A Christian Cake Walk

Today that is what the sermon was on 2 Peter 1:1-11(the text is below)
He was comparing this to cake. How we always need to be adding things to our Christian walk like a cake to make it you cant just leave out something you keep adding ingredients.
1. Moral excellence= flour
When you add moral excellence to your life you are making more inconveinent decisions. There is more of a conviction to do right and avoiding compromises with God.
2. Knowledge= milk
Having the basic knowledge of God is a good thing to have and if you assume you know you dont.
3. Self control=oil
Saying no. Having the ability to say no to things and sticking up for what you believe in. Being about to kinda put this with moral excellence and having the self control saying no this is wrong.
4. Perseverance= baking powder
Hanging in there when life gets tough
5. Godliness=eggs
Life looking more like God.
6. Brotherly Kindness= vanilla
Having warm gentle affection for everyone
7. Love= sugar
agape love that is unconditional for everyone!

Todays sermon taught me a lot on what I already have in these traits and what I need to work on I thought I would share it. I know its long but when I come on here it will remind me. We even got little reminder cards in church on these 7 things. But Pastor said for you to be growing in these things you need to be growing Christ. You will prove you are one of His if you follow these and show you need God. If you need or havent given your life fully to Christ and have been thinking about it anytime is the right time to. If you have questions dont hesistate to ask :)

2 Peter 1:1-11
1Simon Peter, a servant and apostle of Jesus Christ, To those who through the righteousness of our God and Savior Jesus Christ have received a faith as precious as ours:
2Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.
Making One's Calling and Election Sure 3His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
5For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith moral excellence; and to moral excellence, knowledge; 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 8For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.
10Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, 11and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

God has different plans

This weekend God has different plans for me. I thought I was going to Disney but turns out im not. My friend couldnt go because she has hw/is kinda sick. It is kinda sad but its God's will. I just got to think about it that way :)

Feeling better!!

What a little good music does to make you feel better :)

But I found my necklace that was my grandmas. When she had died I asked for a piece of her jewelry and I got a necklace. I know when I wear she is not gonna talk to me but it reminds me of when I am going through just remember what she would tell me. Like she would usually first say it will get better before you get married. She was always there for me in my times of need but since she is gone I have her wise words to come back to. The holiday are coming and its soo hard without her she went through so much in her life and was the head of the family. My grandpa is wise but he is a quiet wise. I spent so much time with her while he was working when I was kid. She even cut my hair and we would go to the mall. I wish I had her here now. I miss her wrinkly skin touching me and telling me it will be ok Stephanie. A grandmothers love is something that is unexplainable. Now that I have no more grandmas its sad. Since my other grandma has ruined our life and made my parents broke. They are going through some rough times. My mom doesnt even have money for Christmas presents so I am going to give her some Visa gift cards to help her out. I know im off topic again and this isnt the reason that I dont understand. God has my parents financial trouble under control. He will provide.

Since right now I dont understand

This song is pretty much how I feel right now about a situation. I have given it to God. Dont worry people its nothing bad just really confusing!!!

I'm Letting Go by Francesca Basttistelli
My heart beats, standing on the edge
But my feet have finally left the ledge
Like an acrobat
There's no turning back
(Chorus) I'm letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control Of my destiny
Feels like I'm falling and that's what it's like to believe
So I'm letting go
This is a giant leap of faith
Trusting and trying to embrace
The fear of the unknown
Beyond my comfort zone
(Chorus)
Giving in to your gravity
Knowing You are holding me I'm not afraid
Feels like I'm falling and that's what it's like to believe
Feels like I'm falling and this is the life for me

Walking

I dont think I have written about how much I like walking. I love to do hardcore exercising where I burn 700 calories but I also love to walk. I even like walking then writing letters and that says a lot. Walking to me just feels amazing especially lately it is sooo pretty outside. There is a cool breeze and the skies are a bright blue with some clouds. I am so thankful for God's creation. I see tons of wildlife when I walk and it makes me smile. Prayer walking is also amazing because when I walk its just me and Jesus. Today on my walk I saw an earthworm and I hit it with my show because it wasnt moving then went i touched it, it kinda was hard and dead. I was sooo scared I jumped. Then I saw a few more and I was like ewwwwww. Sometimes I see dead things like birds and stuff and I usually jump. Yes I am a jumper when something scares me. You know I dont even need to walk anymore with my intense workouts I dont have to but it is my me time with God and I enjoy it a lot. I pass by my highschool on my 3 mile walk and I think wow I have changed sooo much since highschool. I was walking by today and I was thinking about all the memories made there and all of the classrooms I had classes in. I even pass by my middle school and those days were interesting. God has turned me into such a different woman then what I used to be.

Busy day tomorrow 2 classes. lunch. gym. post office. home. walk. homework. I might be able to squeeze in some sleep. Actually my day doesnt look that busy but it is more intense then what it looks like. I will be smiling all thoughout the day though like usual!! :) I think I got off topic again whoops im just really tired.

Sleepy

I am extremely sleepy at this moment right now but I feel like writing. I am listening to the Steven Curtis Chapman cd so I can learn the words to the cd. I was listening to the song One Heartbeat at a Time. I know this song isnt probably about the way I think about it but songs are supposed to mean something different to everyone. This song reminds me of simple things like how when I tell someone how much weight I lost it motivates them to loose weight. I do it in the simplest ways to people who I see need to loose weight it is a very hard thing for me to do. But I do it because being fat isnt fun. I try and spread how losing weight can be acheived and being able to eat the foods you want. My favorite part of the song is
You, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile.
If you know me I am always smiling I love to smile I am barely sad, I barely cry. That is my Smiley Steph. When someone is sad I will do everything in my power to make them smile if it includes making them a retarted picture or putting cheerios up their nose. But anyone can change the world. I know many people who are changing the world literally on the other side of the world. Which I am so proud and God is doing amazing things over there. I want to change the world I know I will one day. I am hoping to be on tv one day with my weight loss and do stuff with that. Weight issues dont only effect America other countries have people who are overweight. People always hear my weightloss sucess and are like what is your secret I want to share it and tell the world.

I am rambling because I think I need sleep now and let me sleep before I say anything stupid.

Waiting

Wow so again I learn something new everynight!! I was talking to my friend in the car tonight and come home and read my devotion and the title is Waiting. We all are waiting for something or always have to wait for something everday if its traffic or in the grocery store. But sometimes we just need to be patient. What we wait for, however, is far less important than what God is doing while we wait. In such times He works in us to develop those hard-to-achieve spiritual virtues of meekness, kindness, and patience with others. But more important, we learn to lean on God alone and to “rejoice and be glad” in Him. I know God is doing amazing things in my life right now while I wait. I see it everyday I am growing in Him everyday and I absolutely love it. Tonight definitly has opened my eyes a lot!! Patience is definitly something I am trying to get better. I know God is faithful and will always provide and I know He has amazing plans for me. I am kinda using this verse as my staple verse all the time now:
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you saith the Lord thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
Jeremiah 29:11

I also have been loving Proverbs I need to go back through and read all of it but this is also another one of my faves.
For wisdom is better than rubies; and all the things that may be desired are not to be compared to it.
Proverbs 8:11

Just thought I would mention it. Wow I love this Steven Curtis Chapman cd!!! So amazing I think Cinderella is my fave song <3

double edged sword

In my devotion tonight I read something very interesting that I have known for most of my life by I saw it in such a different light.

Hebrew 4:11-16
11Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall by following their example of disobedience.
12For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 13Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
Jesus the Great High Priest 14Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. 16Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

How many times have a heard this and even holding up my Bible at church saying the Bible is my sword. I am trying to memorize as much verse I can so when people say things to me I can come back with biblical answers. When I was little we switched churches when I was 5 and at the church we left they did a lot on memorizing verses and then the next church we went to didnt. My brother and sister are sooo good at it and I want to get better. They did bible drills but I never got to do them.

I like what it says in my Bible it says for verse 14 For the word of God is QUICK, AND POWERFUL, AND SHARPER than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit and of the joints and marrow and is a discerner of the thoughts ad intents of the heart. I have the KJV version because thats what my mom got me and I dont mind it at first I was like I kinda like NKJV but thats what my mom got me because thats what she grew up with. I like to read the old school words and sit there and try to figure out what they say. Like in sunday school when we were going through 2 Kings and talking about the deadly stew it was soo funny. I have come to love Kings we have been going through all of it in sunday school and it is soo interesting all the stories I have learned soooo much.

I <3 going through God's word :)

Pretty good day!!

I went to the gym today burned 600 calories. I got up to a level 14 :)!! I work my behiny off but the best part about it is im praising God all the way through it!! It feels sooo good to listen to worship music and just doing it for God. I need to be healthy my body is a temple. Its crazy how much I have changed 130 pounds!! Thats the weight of my friends!! I am shrinking as we speak and its really exciting. It is kinda scary but exciting because this weight loss has helped me sooo much emotionally and physically. When I go through turnstiles I actually fit!!

I found out today I only have 14 classes left!! How exciting but I dont know what im going to do after I am leaving that upto God. I am really upto whatever God has in store. I might go for my masters right after in 12 months if they give me a good schloarship. With my degree in business administration I can basically do whatever I want. I really dont know what is going to happen after my bachelors but I will be praying about it.

While I wait I will just keep reading Jeremiah 29:11-13

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Thats all I wanted to write I think I was going to write more but I forgot. Thats odd because I told someone today I have a good memory but only on things I want to remember I guess.

Everything is going by so fast

Today I signed up for classes but I am still going to meet with my advisor on Wednesday. Wow it goes by soo fast. I only have 3 semesters left and I am getting a more idea of what I want to do as days go by. I am really praying about things to see what God puts in my future. I am taking a sports management class and the professor makes it soo interesting. I would love to work for a major sports team working behind the scenes doing something with the community invovlement or something. I really want to open my fat camp one day and I might be able to get more help from the sports community. Shaq did Shaq's big challenge down here with helping kids loose weight. I have a passion now for nutrition too I really need to be praying over these things. Thanksgiving is almost here and then Christmas then 2009 begins. My future is coming really fast and what I want to do and I need a full time job after school to pay for my loans. But I dont just want a typical office business job. I want something that I can help people. I have loved sports all my life and I would love to work for the Marlins or Panthers working in the coummunity invovlement. I am in a marketing class and marketing is ok but its not my passion. Now I see that this is all coming I am going to be praying to see what God's plan is. I have no idea want He wants me to do I just know it is all in His hands :)

I dont know why lately I have been enjoying writing sooo much :)

Image

Well I learn more and more from scripture and from books I read.

Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine
Isaiah 43:1

Tonight in my devotional about Rebecca St. James it was about what all girls struggle with, body image. Which is something I kind of struggle with this morning. Then I came home and on Lifetime two movies were on To Be Fat Like Me and Queen Sized which are both about fat girls. I even went on a walk and I kind of wear some shorts that show my flab on legs and I was walking by people and I was worried they are always looking at my legs which are getting better but to me they dont look the best. It something that I dont like. But it should matter God loves me no matter what. God delights in me. God Cherishes me. I am precious to him. She said to put that on a mirror but my mirror/door to closet kinda got off the hinge so I cant do that but I am going to try to remember it.

She also talks about how your body is a temple where they talk about that in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. Before I was on my diet my body was not a temple I would eat everything that looked good and not care. Now I am hooked on eating good and I know my body is a temple to God. I am doing this all for God He gets all the glory in this. Sometimes I go through issues of body image just like other girls and people but now I know no more of that because to God I am beautiful and thats all I need. :) God delights in me. God Cherishes me. I am precious to him.

Writing has become my new passion when I find a cool bible verse or something to share with people. I am trying to write better and use proper grammar because hopefully one day I will be able to help girls with body image issues and maybe even write a book. :)

Always learning something

I think God is always trying to teach me something. Since today we "fell back" with the time change I was really tired and all confused this morning and kinda slept in for church. I didn't like the dress I put on and I was running late so there was no time to change. I put on my makeup and my eyeliner wasnt cooperating today. I went out the door thinking I dont look good. Then I get to church go to sunday school and talk with people before church starts. While playing the music to get people to start sitting down this 90 year old lady comes up to me, Betty Thacker. She says in an old lady voice, "I just wanted to tell you that you look great and are doing so good loosing weight." I just had to thank God because lately I been feeling like no one really mentions my weight loss anymore. I kinda look the same. No more drastic changes like before I just have a whole bunch of flab which I am hoping will tone up.

I also heard pastor say something this morning that really was a wake up call. He said,"We arent guarenteed a receptive culture." This week I learned that the hard way from some people who are really close to me. I have been constantly changing and reading bible verses and trying to become a set apart woman. I have no desire to watch certain things or listen to certain music anymore and find out some of my friends thoughts on it and it really hurt. But all I can do is pray for them. I have found myself praying all the time now. When someone or something that needs prayer I just pray. It feels good. God is a great God and will always be there for me. Since August while trying to pay my school bill I found out I need to be patient and know that everything is in God's hands. Just like this election which I am glad it will be over on Tuesday and whatever happens is in God's hands just like my little situation.

I know I ramble and get off topic but thats me. I just write my thoughts as I go.

:)