Today was filled with lots of crying in the morning. My sister got cornered by my aunt because my pants dont exactly fit right and sometimes they need to be pulled up. I really dont mean to do it I am inbetween sizes and they dont always stay where they need to. But I dont do it on purpose. That basically ruined my whole day she has been giving me dirty looks all weekend and I cant stand it. I dont know what I did to her. She was never like this before I dont know what happened to her. She was mean to my grandma once and I have a feeling I am going to get treated like that. I always thought of her different and not like this. I always looked up to her and my uncle but now that I know they look at every little thing I do I cant anymore. My cousin already said a mean thing once to me last year. I am running on my last nerve but all I can do is pray for them.
My grandpa means soo much to me we were praying and holding hands the other night and was squeezing my hand tight and then the other day when I was hugging him bye he held on a little longer usually it is a quick hug. I feel so special in his arms my love for him is soooo great. But I was looking at him tonight and he is looking so old. Made me sad. He is such a great man of God!! I love hearing him pray and talk about the bible. My 7 year cousin just accepted Jesus into his heart and my grandpa gave him a big boys bible. My grandparents have always meant the world to me minus the one mean grandma.
I am calming down a lot it was hard this morning. It was hard to make myself happy after that I tried my hardest. Funny thing was my devotion last night was on anger. I didnt get angry I just got sad. Writing helps though and I have the best sister to fight for me and the bestest friends in the world to help me through it all!!
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