Thanksgiving

Today was such a great day with a great family!! I had a blast with my cousins. We played baseball a lot today and I did good. We were also playing with scooters lets just say I go as slow as a snail because I dont want to fall. I am freeeeeezzzzinnngggg its its 40 something degrees and I am soooo cold. I even have socks on and if you know me I am not a sock person. I am not a show person I love sandals.

Thanksgiving isnt the same anymore I miss my grandma she was the matriarch of the family. She was the glue. Now without her its not the same. I feel like my thoughts about her and my memories are fading. My grandma never got to see my uncles finished house or anything. I miss her hugs a lot right now. But I still remember what it feels like. When I was cold she used to hold me and make me warm because she would wear flannel jackets and give me tons of blankets to stay warm. I have my grandpa but he plays a different role in my life. I look to him and see the guy I want to marry, someone who is soo Godly but sweet and isnt afraid to cry. My grandpa and I have a great relationship but hes not my grandma. Sometimes this is soo hard to get through the holidays with out her. I know somedays I talk about it a lot but she was my everything. It will never be the same way again.

One thing I truly love up here is it actually being dark there arent even street lights. God is sooo awesome. I was outside on the phone and I could see the stars. I saw the little dipper. Stars are awesome!! I wish I could go sit outside on a blanket and put on some music but I kinda cant because I would freeze to death.

If anyone knows me they know I talk A LOT!! But this verse stuck out to me in my devotional. Dont worry what you'll say. When the time comes , say whats on your heart. The holy spirit will make his witness through you. Mark 13:11 Lately I have been following what God is doing in my heart it is really hard. Sometimes I do admit to try to fight it but I give in with God. It is a situation my heart and I have been fighting with. I want something else somedays but I always end up chosing Gods way when I start to think what I want and what God wants.

Well I am going to relax before bed I am most likely waking up at 7 am again!!!!