Feel like writing

For once I am not tired and feel like writing my feelings. My weight went up this week and I am not happy at all but I know lately I have been making mistakes that have been affecting my weight. I have been on this diet which is now my life a long time and it is getting tiring doing the same thing but it is my life and I need to get back on track.

Its weird I tell my friends when my weight goes up o yea no biggie I am getting my haircut so my weight will go down but relly on the inside I hurt. I want my weight loss to be how when I started loosing 2 lbs a week. But it wont go back to that. Now it is moving slower which I need to start controlling better what I eat.

My friend did this talent show thing tonight and got totally ridiculed by the judges and I felt soo bad for her but then it made me think of my old days when I was bigger. Weighing my heaviest weight I had to go in front of church when I graduated for graduation sunday and I tripped up the steps because I was sooo big in front of my church family and that hurt a lot. When I was in highschool going through the hallways having boys being jerks and tapping me on the shoulder and saying see that guy over there he wants to go out with you. Totally getting made fun of by the way I looked. It never bothered my much when I was younger and now looking back it still doesnt because I know I had the best friends in the world who didnt care how I looked and stood up for me in school. I mean I had some bad moments like not fitting in the desks and trying to fit down aisles of desks and trying to get through people. Those days were sometimes hard and my mom didnt even know I was made fun of for being fat. Thats why I want to teach kids that no one should be made fun of and they need to be healthy. Those days are over and now I am healthy and getting healthier daily. Wow writing those feelings helped and gave me memories of those days but looking back as a lesson learned.

God is sooo awesome I read this bible verse tonight!!!!
The Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. —1 Samuel 16:7