I cant sleep

No one is home in my house and I dont like being home alone so im gonna write.

I love going to the gym. Giving my all on a machine is the most amazing thing. When I get tired and loose motivation I just think I need to do this and I turn up my music a little louder and give it all to God. Its such an amazing feeling burning so many calories. Before I could barely even go on the eliptical and now I can do a level 14 if I want. I love the book im reading at the gym too. I love Boaz he was such a sweet guy I think right now he is my favorite bible character. I cant wait till God puts my Boaz in my life. Maybe he has maybe he hasnt but I know he will. He is faithful and I need to trust in him.

I think my cat is dying. It is very sad. he barely eats anymore. we have had him for a long time.

ok i need sleep i have work tomorrow.

I love going to church. Waking up on a Sunday morning and getting up to go and going to Sunday school and then worship service is amazing. It makes for an amazing week. The people who I can thank for helping me love church is family. With out my parents raising me in a home where we go to church together I wouldnt be who I am today. Well now we all dont drive together but we are there together and sit together. Ever since I was in my mommy's tummy I went to church its not like it makes me a better person or anything but I love it!! When I was a child I have so many memories of all the picnics, sleepovers, GA's, Harvest Fest, Christmas in July, Awana, and so many more events that have been important in my life. Today made me think of how honored I am to have such great parents to give me a life like that. I was praying today asking God to show me what to do in a situation that has been bugging my mind for months now. Then I got my answer the sermon was on God knows the big picture. He knows what is going to happen in the end and that really helped me. I know if I trust in him everything will be fine. I mean I have been doing that lately but knowing that he knows what is going to happen just makes me feel better. :)

I want a Boaz!!

I got this new book about a man worth waiting for finding a Boaz not a bozo. It is amazing. I want a Boaz I was reading the book and then went and read the story of Boaz tonight and it is sooo sweet. I want a guy who would do that for me and care for me like that. I also want to be a proverbs 30 woman. I want to find that special guy who is Godly. I already have my prince Jesus and I know he has him out there for me. I also read authentic Beauty it was such an awesome book. I learned how I need to be close to Jesus all the time. They mention that in this new book too. I have enjoyed reading these books lately at the gym they help sooo much.

I know my Boaz is out there just got to wait for God's timing. While I wait I will enjoy my times with God. I mean I will still have them once I find him but I will be praying and letting God figure out the mushy Boaz stuff.

Just a thought

Well I havent written on here in awhile I really should write more but school is kinda busy. I am watching the The 60th Annual Emmy's and it makes me think what makes them so special why do they get to win award. Just for being in a show thats ridiculous. Why do people care so much about celebs. It makes no sense they have nothing to do with my life. In church today Michael Petty preached on Psalm 67 and at one point was talking about how we need to praise God. We are so lucky to even have tv. In other countries they dont even know who God is. We are lucky to have a relationship with him. God is a God of grace!! I love him sooo much anymore than I could love any celeb. I will praise his name for all the days of my life. How can I not praise God, He died for me, paid the price. Just makes you think why do people care so much about clothes and material things when all I need is my Jesus and everything is good. Wait its not just good its AMAZING there is no words to describe. There is a song but I cant remember it goes something like Give me my Jesus. Thats all I want in life.

im sooo tired and i cant believe school starts on monday and i dont even know how im buy my books. i need money and i hate asking my parents for money because they dont have any.

this weekend is gonna be great its a bffl birthday!!!! its gonna be sooo much fun!! i have a few surprises because shes not getting anything from her parents so i have to give her a guft which its gonna be awesome. i wish i could go back and fix my bday. i wish i could change that whole thing then maybe things would be different right now.

realization

I came to a new realization tonight I need to rely on God more well no rely but let him speak to me more and i need to listen. I have been listening to this song by grace Speak Lord and it has been helping me. I need to focus on God and everything will be ok. God has a plan for me. God knows who that special guy will be in my life who i will oneday marry and I need to think that. Tonight I have been really emotional and thinking will i ever find that someone who will love me for me. I have never had a guy tell me that im pretty or anything except my best friend who is gay but i dont think he is. But all I need to know is God loves me for me and he doesnt look at my looks he has known me before i was born and loved me enough to die for me. Thats all i need is God's love.

blah blah blah blah blah

ask if you wanna know but each blah means something lol