Finally home!!!

Usually I hate leaving but this Thanksgiving turned out to be a really sad one. I got in trouble for something I dont mean to do. I got dirty looks all weekend. Got told things that arent right. I just never have wanted to go home sooo bad.

My uncle and aunt arent happy anymore like they used to be. The kids arent even happy. I am going to be praying for them. We even went to their new church today and it was a different church. I cant explain it but the pastor said some things that were off from they way my family believes or how my church believes. I am sooo thankful for my church family and my pastor. He teaches the true gospel of Christ.

This weekend has been filled with emotion and I learned a lot.

Today wasn't such a good day.

Today was filled with lots of crying in the morning. My sister got cornered by my aunt because my pants dont exactly fit right and sometimes they need to be pulled up. I really dont mean to do it I am inbetween sizes and they dont always stay where they need to. But I dont do it on purpose. That basically ruined my whole day she has been giving me dirty looks all weekend and I cant stand it. I dont know what I did to her. She was never like this before I dont know what happened to her. She was mean to my grandma once and I have a feeling I am going to get treated like that. I always thought of her different and not like this. I always looked up to her and my uncle but now that I know they look at every little thing I do I cant anymore. My cousin already said a mean thing once to me last year. I am running on my last nerve but all I can do is pray for them.

My grandpa means soo much to me we were praying and holding hands the other night and was squeezing my hand tight and then the other day when I was hugging him bye he held on a little longer usually it is a quick hug. I feel so special in his arms my love for him is soooo great. But I was looking at him tonight and he is looking so old. Made me sad. He is such a great man of God!! I love hearing him pray and talk about the bible. My 7 year cousin just accepted Jesus into his heart and my grandpa gave him a big boys bible. My grandparents have always meant the world to me minus the one mean grandma.

I am calming down a lot it was hard this morning. It was hard to make myself happy after that I tried my hardest. Funny thing was my devotion last night was on anger. I didnt get angry I just got sad. Writing helps though and I have the best sister to fight for me and the bestest friends in the world to help me through it all!!

Day after Thanksgiving

Today was a very relaxing day around the house. We watched a couple of movies, played outside, ate, and just hung out. It is nice not to worry about anything and just play. I miss being a kid and being here reminds me of being a kid. We played hide and go seek outside and it was tons of fun!! I love kid games.

I am trying to scooter but I am not being that successful. Each day I get better and better but its hard. I was never able to really do sports before or too much physical activity but now that I can I love it. I cant wait to get to goal and be able to run really fast actually have my clothes fit me.

We will see what tomorrow has in store. This weekend is going by sooo fast and next week for school is going to be sooo busy.

Its soo weird not having tv. They have a tv and antenna but it doesnt work so well so all we watch is movies if anything. Its weird when I am bored I cant just turn on the tv. I usually just listen to my mp3 player. It is weird staying in a house that isnt yours but this house is sooo pretty could be bigger because my uncle designed it and built most of it himself.

Ok I am running out things to say time to go to bed and listen to music :)

Thanksgiving

Today was such a great day with a great family!! I had a blast with my cousins. We played baseball a lot today and I did good. We were also playing with scooters lets just say I go as slow as a snail because I dont want to fall. I am freeeeeezzzzinnngggg its its 40 something degrees and I am soooo cold. I even have socks on and if you know me I am not a sock person. I am not a show person I love sandals.

Thanksgiving isnt the same anymore I miss my grandma she was the matriarch of the family. She was the glue. Now without her its not the same. I feel like my thoughts about her and my memories are fading. My grandma never got to see my uncles finished house or anything. I miss her hugs a lot right now. But I still remember what it feels like. When I was cold she used to hold me and make me warm because she would wear flannel jackets and give me tons of blankets to stay warm. I have my grandpa but he plays a different role in my life. I look to him and see the guy I want to marry, someone who is soo Godly but sweet and isnt afraid to cry. My grandpa and I have a great relationship but hes not my grandma. Sometimes this is soo hard to get through the holidays with out her. I know somedays I talk about it a lot but she was my everything. It will never be the same way again.

One thing I truly love up here is it actually being dark there arent even street lights. God is sooo awesome. I was outside on the phone and I could see the stars. I saw the little dipper. Stars are awesome!! I wish I could go sit outside on a blanket and put on some music but I kinda cant because I would freeze to death.

If anyone knows me they know I talk A LOT!! But this verse stuck out to me in my devotional. Dont worry what you'll say. When the time comes , say whats on your heart. The holy spirit will make his witness through you. Mark 13:11 Lately I have been following what God is doing in my heart it is really hard. Sometimes I do admit to try to fight it but I give in with God. It is a situation my heart and I have been fighting with. I want something else somedays but I always end up chosing Gods way when I start to think what I want and what God wants.

Well I am going to relax before bed I am most likely waking up at 7 am again!!!!

I have arrived in JAX!!

I am in Jacksonville Florida actually I lied I am in middleburg but no one knows where that is. I should be asleep the cousins are going to want to get up at like 7 and play but I cant sleep. We had a good drive it took a really long time because of traffic and stuff. But when we got here it was 40 degrees. Funny thing is I wasnt that cold maybe its because I am wearing my sweats that I love.

I watched 3 movies in the car it was fun got me through the time. I tend to watch romantic comedies which got me thinking tonight about flowers(I was also sitting by flowers) I lvoe gerber daises or regular daises they are simple and pretty. Those are my favorites.

I am looking forward to time with the family. I love my family. We all have the same beliefs and all get along. There is no bad language going on its good clean fun and my family knows how to have fun. We can make fun out of anything. My dad brought all his funny jokes like the gorilla mask and other things. I cant believe my cousin is 14 now and 5'6 I am 5'4 wow that is gonna be nuts when I wake up and stand up net to her. She isnt my little baby cousin anymore she is all grown up in the 8th grade Its nuts. My other ones luckily are still shorter than me.

These four days should be fun and interesting. I should have time to write on here when I am bored at night. hmmm Idk if I should fall asleep to my music. Probably not.

im getting cold now. time for sleep!!! I love my air mattress its sooo comfy!!!!

Tuesday 10

1. Fun adventures my friends take me on
2. Even though I dont like my job too much right now I am happy to have a job during this tough economy.
3. My cat because she makes me smile even though shes mean.
4. My parents always taking my around the country and showing me the heart of the US even when we dont have much money.
5. My humor. Laughing gets me through the day :)
6. My 1988 oldsmobile. It is the same age as me how many people can say that?
7. That my best guy friend asked me to be in his wedding and there are only 4 bridesmaids and I dont know the bride it made me really happy that they thought of me.
8. Wade Thomas even though he never writes me he has done amazing things helping me with my weight loss
9. For my church family they mean the world to me and make me smile knowing they will always be there for be no matter what. I have brothers and sisters in Christ who love me!!
10. My new diffuser for my hair it makes my hair look good. :)

Remeber I cant repeat!!

Sundays are great

I love Sundays and coming on my blog and writing what I learn.

In Sunday School we talked about situations where you go back and think why is this happening, how did I ever get invovled in this, etc. Lately I have been thinking about that with a certain situation. Thinking why did God ever do that to me. But in the end it is His plan and what He wants. We are going through Esther now and in Esther they dont talk about prayer or anything they do mention fasting though. But God had a plan for Esther. He made her beautiful for a reason. So this little situation that I am uncertain about I know God is going to use it to show me stuff. He already has and I have learned many things from it. I understand why He put this situation in my life now and it has changed me forever!!!

Then I go into church and we are singing For The Beauty of The Earth and that song always reminds me of Little Women the old version when they all sing together. I love that movie and Christian Bale has changed so much from that movie.

The sermon was on Thanks. We need to give thanks no matter what. Even if problems get thrown our way. Thanking God is just the right thing to do. God knows when we are grateful and ungrateful. Pastor challenged us to say 10 things we are thankful for which I did last week. He took it from someone on facebook like I did. I am going to try to do it every week but I cant repeat. Its weird when I open something someone has given me I am soo thankful but it never shows on my face. I never know how to epress myself when I open a gift but I am sooo thankful. I dont like getting gifts I love giving gifts first!!!