I dont know why but I feel horrible. I go to NSU and I dont anything on campus. Yea I go to class and I have my online classes but I dont do anything to get invovled on campus. I feel like such a failure of a student. I would love to start a weight loss thing with public schools and go speak but my high school principal never wrote me back. I dont want to feel like this. Its like yes I am getting good grades in school and I raising my gpa to what it was like back in highschool but I do nothing. I always say o yea I should do that but I dont. Its not like the exercising is helping my weightloss. I am just staying the same my weight isnt moving. :( I feel like a dissppointment to Wade because I wish I was at goal weight and I could get all this flab off me. Its such a barrier why I dont do things. I dont like to be around a lot of people because I am afraid people are seeing the fat. Even when the fat is gone it is such an issue and only people who have been discriminated for being fat understand this. I want to start my fat camp soo bad and just go and live with all my kids who need to lose weight and help them overcome all their issues maybe mine would go away too.