Just thinking

I am still sitting in the hotel 6 hours later getting ready to leave for downtown disney. I am very sad though. I am very proud of myself this year for changing a lot and growing up but I am very disturbed by the fact that my best friend is too afraid to invite me to her house because I might ruin things again. I didnt do anything that bad but it bugs me sooo much that they dont want to see me. When I think about it I just want to cry because I ruined it all. I said a stupid joke that in my family would be funny but to them it wasnt. I wish I could take it all back. Like right now its bugging me because I havent been over there in forever and I wish things would change. I know I talk about it a lot with her and she gets mad at me but I dont know what to do. I am praying about it and I know God has a reason for everything but I always tend to be sad about it. :(

Well I am going to downtown disney now. I just hope one day they will forgive me and see the new stephanie who doesnt act like that anymore.

:(